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Building My Tribe: The Hardest Lesson I Learnt

  • November 5, 2019
ENDOXIST | Holbox, Mexico | Sunwing Vacations | Mayerman Style | Building My Tribe | Men With Style

I've always known the importance of finding your 'people' and sticking with them. Heck, we believed in this so much that we packed up and moved across the world in search of digital fashion people. It seems like common sense to surround ourselves with people who share similar interest, have the same point of view, the same interest and desires.

ENDOXIST | Holbox, Mexico | Sunwing Vacations | Mayerman Style | Building My Tribe | Men With Style
ENDOXIST | Holbox, Mexico | Sunwing Vacations | Mayerman Style | Building My Tribe | Men With Style

But after moving first to Berlin, and then to Toronto, in pursuit of our 'tribe', I learnt one important lesson. As much as you need to cultivate a tribe of like minded individuals who are in the same industry as you, there is nothing as authentic as finding and holding unto people who stick by you despite, not because, of your profession.

ENDOXIST | Holbox, Mexico | Sunwing Vacations | Mayerman Style | Building My Tribe | Men With Style
ENDOXIST | Holbox, Mexico | Sunwing Vacations | Mayerman Style | Building My Tribe | Men With Style
ENDOXIST | Holbox, Mexico | Sunwing Vacations | Mayerman Style | Building My Tribe | Men With Style
ENDOXIST | Holbox, Mexico | Sunwing Vacations | Mayerman Style | Building My Tribe | Men With Style
ENDOXIST | Holbox, Mexico | Sunwing Vacations | Mayerman Style | Building My Tribe | Men With Style
ENDOXIST | Holbox, Mexico | Sunwing Vacations | Mayerman Style | Building My Tribe | Men With Style

The people that I thought were the tribe I was looking for, people who posted daily on Instagram, who knew the difference between Loewe and Lanvin, who knew the struggle of a 45 minute layover in Amsterdam, who understood feet hurting from uncomfortable but fashion-y shoes, who negotiated brand deals, I thought these were my tribe. Turns out, these people were bitter, conniving, somewhat jealous maybe, and overall unhappy with their lives.

ENDOXIST | Holbox, Mexico | Sunwing Vacations | Mayerman Style | Building My Tribe | Men With Style

And thats when I realized that the most important thing about curating your tribe wasn't what they did, it's all about how they made me feel.

ENDOXIST | Holbox, Mexico | Sunwing Vacations | Mayerman Style | Building My Tribe | Men With Style

The people who you choose to surround yourself with - the ones who you text, who you wish a happy birthday to, who you share both your accomplishments and your failures with - should make you feel good. They should uplift you. Challenge you. Encourage you. And most importantly, they should love you. They should respect you. If your tribe isn't doing that, are you wasting time with them?

I learnt the hard way that I most certainly was. And then I realigned and made sure that the people I have in my life make me feel great.

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