Death of a Salesman. A well known play from the 1950’s by Arthur Miller. It bashes the “American Dream” of achieving wealth and success without regard for principle. I had the pleasure of studying this classic peice of American Theatre in my English 30 AP class two years ago, and since then, the mental image of Willy Loman has been stark and alive in my mind. He eventually ends up killing himself, because, among other reasons, the insurcance cheque will pay off the mortgage on the house.
This play is drenched with social commentary, which makes it so damn intriguing.
I often compare myself to Mr. Loman. But I’m sure I have a different sort of “American Dream”…
My dream is of acceptance. Of finding a place among others. Of having friends; a close group of people with whom not only can I have fun and be myself, but also who I can trust, can turn to in time of need, without question. My “American Dream” is pretty much the epitome of what every other teenager wants in life.
And I mean most of us pretend our way through it. Trying to make others (and ourselves) believe we’ve found it. Found that person, or those people. We give ourselves titles, make inside jokes, but make sure those inside jokes are well known, almost so as to make others feel bad for not having found what we have. Its pretty pathetic actually.
On that thought, something finally hit me today. An epiphany of sorts; I kill best friends. I destroy relationships. They melt away infront of my eyes. Its not something I do on purpose, or have any sort of control over. I noticed the pattern when I was driving into work today; for no apparent reason, every single “best friend” that I’ve ever had has eventually lost contact with me (using the term lightly, because usually its on purpose), and its actually to the point where we pretend that we dont even know each other.
Harsh I know, but it’s life. So I find myself, once again, Twenty years old, in the Summer of 2008, with no one to call my Best Friend.
I wonder when I’ll finally wake up and realize that this Teenager Acceptance American Dream bullshit is, well, bullshit.
