John 8:7
For any of you in Biblical circles, this verse is nothing new. It is the common, bread-and-butter response for Christians in regards to sinners blaming other sinners. Its no secret; the world is full of sinners. We all do wrong deeds, to people who don’t deserve it, and we all know we do it. I mean, going back to the context Jesus was using, is there anybody out there who can say they’ve never talked smack about people, who’ve never, even for jokes, plotted revenge? Is there anybody who hasn’t been envious over someone elses belongings? Anyone who is genuinely happy for all their peers?
No unfortunately, there isn’t. We all are guilty of doing the same things that we blame others for. Me especially; the things I’ve said and/or done to others, looking back now it sickens me to think of the person I used to be, and most likely still am. Its always easier to be subjective when looking back to things in retrospect, though, and we all know that no matter how much we wish and try, we can’t change the past. What’s done is done, and now we must all live with the choices, the mistakes, the decisions we made.
In that respect, I can celebrate and thank God for his generosity in his mercy with me. As aforementioned, there is so much I’ve experienced in my life that, when in the eyes of God, embarrasses me to such an extreme extent. All I do now is hope to learn from the mistakes I’ve made, and hope that I can move ahead from them. Be it with school, with work, with family, with finances, with my health, with friends, with thoughts both conscious and subconscious, all I can pray is that I can move forward, with the help and grace of God. And in the rare and amazing case that I’m ever given a second chance, I can hope that I don’t mess up as badly as I did the first time through, whatever the case.
The opinion that many of you hold, and I actually agree with, is that in regards to me specifically, people in my life come, and go, and come back. True as it may be, nobody can attest to its negativity. If these people have consciously decided to give me another chance, and ask for another chance from me, who is anyone else to negate this? Frankly, everyone can have their own opinions in regards to their own life, and to mine, so I also have no right to point out discrepancies in anybody’s perception.
All I can do is reference back to John 8:7; that really nobody is perfect, me included, and before passing judgment unto others, lets all look back at our lives. This basic, but powerful, principle is one which I still struggle with. It’s so easy to find faults and blemishes in others, while completely ignoring our own, obvious as they may be. And there is only one person who knows you better than yourself: God.
I thank the Lord everyday for blessing my life with those individuals who, as per his plan, are currently in it. And who knows, maybe said individuals will change drastically, again. At this point, I’m just accepting it all as God’s master plan for my life. I can only hope to let Him take control and do what He knows to be right.
My dad had this conversation with me the other night, about living your life based on FAITH as opposed to living in FEAR. FAITH, he explains, is Full Assurance In The Heart, where we whole-heartedly trust and believe in the whims and desires that God places in our heart. FEAR is when we take False Evidence As Real, believing what others say about our lives,and what others say about everything/anything else. Usually, this isn’t true, and naively believing these people only causes us to live in FEAR. Dad encouraged me to live in FAITH through God, for only He can actually give me Full Assurance In The Heart, and take away my tendency to take False Evidence As Real.
I definitely don’t have everything figured out, but I’m learning daily, hourly, every single minute, what it’s like to live a life that’s led by God, and the prime examples of that would be my parents. I’m praying to be able to let go of resentment and bitterness, to accept my own faults, and to be genuinely happy in the Spirit, emulating Johnson & Daisy.
The wicked support structure I’ve got going helps too. Coworkers, committee members, random strangers, ex-friends, new friends, bosses, everyone, has worked together to mold and create the person I am today. Some claim that I left no mark of significance in the life of everyone I’ve encountered, but I can say with assurance that you’ve left a mark in my life, whether willingly or not.
Lord your ways are not my ways, everything you don’t explain.
Some things I don’t want to change, so you keep begging me,
It’s like I’m fighting for my life, you hit me with another right;
I feel like Jacob in the night, won’t stop till you bless me?
My flesh and my will, It’s your not to kill
I reason myself to you but living sacrifices move!
I Am God – Kirk Franklin ft. tobyMAC
