I guess you can say it was a fling. A casual summer “thing”. I was excited, she didn’t really know any better, and before we knew it, we were an item. For me, it was purely for convenience sake, but I guess she had other things on her mind. People always say us together. Sometimes, if I didn’t show up with her, people would actually ask where she was? Why I wasn’t where ever I was without her? I didn’t really give it much thought, but then things started to get ugly.
She started acting up. Creating scenes. Random strangers would wonder what was going on with us. I soon found it hard to even turn her on. She was becoming impossible to handle, and I guess I started to threaten her, that I would leave her. For someone younger, hotter and more trustworthy, almost more reliable. That scared her. She started cleaning up her act a little. But she slipped.
I was beginning to get really annoyed of her, but I still went everywhere with her. I guess she knew she had that power over me. She knew that without her, I’d be nothing; I couldnt do anything. I guess even she understood that. But we began to get heated. I guess I began emotionally cheating on her. I started to look for someone else. I even started to go through internet ads. Ugh, it felt disgusting but exhilirating at the same time. I’ll still never know if she ever found out about that, but she was getting really heated every few days. She threatened to just break down. And I couldnt have that, no matter how much I hated her.
Our theme song became Hate That I Love You, by Rihanna and Ne-Yo. I just didnt even know what to do with her anymore. She was such a huge part of my life, and I knew that once she did leave, I would need to find someone else. I was too used to the luxury of having her around.
But alas, the time has come. She’s found someone else. Actually, I helped her find him. Do I have any regrets? A few; I could have taken care of her better. Not been so tough on her. I could have not ridden her so damn hard every night. But that’s just life right, you learn from your mistakes, and now it’s too far gone. Tomorrow’s the last day we get to spend together before she moves on. It’s been almost a year… I just hope that there’s something better out there for me, and that I can find her soon.
Sigh.
Good bye Lakeesha. I’ll miss you.
